Wednesday, October 12, 2011 – Fear of Success

So, as I was posting on the Atkins message boards about me scarfing bread for the past two days, I mentioned my fear of success.  I have had this fear for as far back as I can remember.  It encompasses more of my life than strictly weight but I will only talk about the weight issue here.

So, I went a-Googling.  I found an article that has spoken to me:

http://www.lazaris.com/publibrary/pubfear.cfm

The part that relates to this way of eating:

“And fear blackmails. Fear says, “We’re going to expose you, and they’re going to see your power and strength and talent and all the beautiful parts that you’ve hidden away.””

I’ve used my weight for years as an excuse for a myriad of things: If I don’t get a job, it’s because of my weight; If “he” doesn’t like me, it’s because of my weight; If I play a sport like cr*p it’s because of my weight; If I don’t succeed, it’s because of my weight, etc. It’s always been my crutch … my security blanket.

I have a lot of thinking to do.

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